Good News -- Paris Hilton Isn't a Movie Star

Paris Hilton's latest shot at movie stardom, "The Hottie and the Nottie", opened yesterday in 111 theaters.

It made an estimated $9,000. Total.

How bad is that? That's $81 per theater. That means, at the average theater, 8-10 paying customers bothered to go see the movie. Opening night. Friday night. All shows combined.

And given that Paris probably got a few "friends" to see it in Los Angeles, that means in rural America the numbers were probably much lower than that.

So, you know, if you're looking for a quiet place to have sex with your girlfriend, this is the movie to go see.