a pro script reader ponders movies, reading, writing and the occasional personal flashback

Friday, January 06, 2006

My Hidden Self

So my wife finally started reading my blog, after someone told her about my King-Kong-as-a-Metaphor-For-Marriage post.

Fortunately, she laughed. A lot.

But then she started reading more of my posts. And it freaked her out a bit.

Because she didn't recognize me here. On this blog, I come across as outgoing and entertaining. In real life... not so much at all. In private with friends, maybe. Not with strangers.

She thought I was hiding this whole side of myself from her. I had to think about it, and then explain to her that it wasn't really true. It's an act.

Here, I'm forced to adapt a different persona. I have to play host, to be maitre d', to keep people's attention, to be funny and entertaining and hopefully interesting and informative at times.

I'm the ringmaster/juggler, keeping up a line of patter while 5 balls dance through the air.

But at the same time... maybe it is a part of me yearning to escape. Because my wife goes off to work all day, while I sit around the house, reading and writing coverage. Sometimes I go out to a coffee shop to read. Occasionally I go pick up work somewhere. But that's the only time I really have an honest conversation with anyone.

So it's nice to be able to come in here, and dance and sing a little. To pry open my brain, and see what flies out onto the page. To create a place where there's a little back and forth, and where I can make my little contribution to the scribosphere.

Or maybe it's just an act. Sometimes I'm not sure who is me, and who is blog me, and who is writer me, and who is husband me.

Still, it'll be interesting to see what's next on the bill.

On with the show...


At 11:16 AM, Blogger Ismo Santala said...

If you think *you* have identity issues, try maintaining a steady voice while using a foreign language!

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Eric Andrade said...

I couldn't agree more. I suspect my wife would prefer the funny, blogging me to the skulking, grumbling me that sits in our second bedroom, cursing at a whiteboard for two to four hours a day. I feel so dirty. ;-)

At 1:17 PM, Blogger MaryAn Batchellor said...

You are a writer, Scott. You can portray yourself convincingly as whomever you want to be. In this way, we writers are mighty morphing power rangers!

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Alicia said...

As I begin to venture into blogging, I debate whether or not I want to share my blog with those who know me. I want to write for an audience without having to censor myself. This is a very challenging task when you are concerned about how different individuals will react to what you write. To write without restraint - that is bliss. I think it is important to have a place to go where you can do that. Perhaps your wife has a similar place. If not, she should. Thanks for sharing!

At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's always weird reading things by people you know. Whether the work is non-fiction, fiction, or even an autobiography, people can seem quite different 'on the page' than they do in real life.

I think it has something to do with the observation by author John Gardner:

"To most people, even those who don't read much, there is something special and vaguely magical about writing, and it is not easy for them to believe that someone they know -- someone quite ordinary in many respects -- can really do it."

At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just told 'stop writing all those serious dramas and horror scripts, do a comedy like your blog'...thanks dear

At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Brett N said...


I've been told numerous times that I come across similar both in print and live forms. I'm plodding forward with the theory that this is in fact a *good* thing, but if not, please don't bother correcting me.

I think the situation you describe might be created when you spend some part of your "regular" life in a job or position where, for whatever reason(s), you are discouraged from speaking as honestly as you can in a blog. Here in the pixel-verse, you can be as grouchy or as whiny or as cheery or as [insert adjective here] as you like with precious little risk beyond the comments of a handful of faceless names.

That's not to suggest that anyone is duplicitous or disingenuous in real life, but politics and tact often call for a certain decorum and restraint which is pretty much non-existent online. here, the Id can be turned from the leash and told "run free, big boy."

Which can be both and blessing.

At 8:28 PM, Blogger sretherf said...

This is good writing in itself... makes good use of the blog format. The act of blogging is the subject of the post. How typical of the transformative power of blogging and writing in general. Self-expression is great when put to use the right way...

At 11:27 PM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

I'm amazed that she would be surprised because I've met few writers that weren't introverts.

My Missus is used to my humour, but I know she's not entirely pleased with how she's portrayed because she rarely reads the blog without prodding or someone else telling her about it.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger oneslackmartian said...

My wife thinks I’m too nosey.

Well, that’s what she wrote in her diary.


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