Capitalism At Its Worst

So if you are an obsessive reader of comments on blogs, you may have noticed long, long posts on other people's blogs by one of my fellow readers, who is trying to shill his new website, where he is offering his services on helping you improve your script. Or become a better reader. You can even hire his mentors and life coaches. He even offers a free report on mistakes that writer's make when using a script consultant.

I'm guessing that overpaying them isn't one of the mistakes he cites.

Because if you want to pay him for "studio coverage" on your script -- basically, a synopsis you don't need, and "basic analysis" that will probably only say that the script is good or bad, without being all that helpful -- it'll cost you $197.

If you want 3-5 pages of detailed notes and suggestions on all the main elements of the screenplay, it'll cost you $347.

If you want up to 10 pages of page-by-page notes, OR to meet with him to talk about your story? $547. If you want both? $697.

Holy Jesus.

And the sad part is that he isn't out of line. There are other script site services that are worse (I'm sure those are the ones that make his report), or more expensive. As one reader justifies on his blog, it's "capitalism at its best", and he sees no problem in charging aspiring screenwriters much more than he does the corporate movie companies that he works for.

The really crazy thing is that the work they are doing is almost pure profit, and it just doesn't take that long. Let's focus on the 3-5 pages of notes, which if they are good could be helpful for a writer. I can sit down with your script, read it, take notes, and then bash out 3-5 helpful pages, and it will take me three hours. Tops. Maybe even less. I do it for friends, all the time, for nothing.

But that's well over $100 an hour, if you are paying $300+. Wow. Start lining up, people. Throw me your cash.

Except I could never do that. Because the idea of making an aspiring writer (who probably has a real job and bills to pay, that they are trying to juggle against their dream, just like I am) shell out that much money just seems obscene to me.

So I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm busy with work, and it's just going to get busier. I don't really have time to do a lot of outside work. Maybe a few extra scripts a week. I'm also concerned that the thugs from the script service agencies are going to come down and beat me.

But screw it. Maybe, as a public service, I'll carve off a tiny sliver of their business. Actually, in theory, I'm not really doing that -- I think the people I am targeting are the ones who would NEVER pay that much money to get notes on their script. Anyone who would, go on to those other services; I'm sure they can help you much more than I can.

Anyhow, here's the offer. Script notes, 3-5 pages. Not a synopsis, not basic coverage, but actual script notes. What that guy is charging $347 for.

I'll do them for $60. Paid in advance, Check or cash, no credit cards. No pennies.

But there would have to be rules.

I don't want anyone sending me scripts in hopes that I think they are great, and will pass them on to someone else. I'm not going to do that. If they are great, enter them in a contest. Win. Become rich.

I want to read scripts in which the writer is stuck, or needs a push, or some direction. Where I can give you pages and pages of story/structure/character notes, and you'll happily launch into a rewrite.

I will tear your baby apart. I'll tell you a few good things, and then most of the report will focus on what doesn't work. If you don't want your baby torn apart, don't hire me.

I won't teach you how to write. If you don't know how to properly format a script, then you'd be better off investing in screenwriting books.

If you think your script is great, and you want to get good coverage and a road to the studios, I'm not the guy. ScriptShark does stuff like that.

If you need to talk to someone on the phone afterward, I'm not that guy either. Go to FunJoel for something like that. (I will trade an e-mail or two, if you need clarification).

What I'm offering is basic, solid notes (no synopsis, just notes), from a guy who has read a hell of a lot of scripts and books (I'm going to hit my 9000th studio/prodco coverage sometime next year) and who'd be just as happy reading your script as he would one from a production company, for the same price. Because that's fair.

Anyhow, I have no idea if this is going to work. I think there might be interest in this, but I can't really handle a deluge, but if I can do notes here, and notes there, it might work. I'd try to turn them around fairly quickly; almost certainly less than a week.

If it's something you might want to explore, now or in the future, e-mail me at scottmullen9@sbcglobal.net.

Otherwise, all comments welcome. Has anyone used these other services, and wants to share their experiences, positive or negative? Has anyone gotten satisfying notes or coverage back from contests they entered? Most importantly, am I crazy?