ALLIGATORS IN A HELICOPTER

a pro script reader ponders movies, reading, writing and the occasional personal flashback

Friday, August 29, 2008

Weekend Box Office #99

Jeez, I disappear for a week and the comments turn into the Bickersons.

Obviously I need to post a lot more.

Anyhow, if you thought last weekend was bad, these are the choices for this weekend. The first three didn't even screen for critics, which is always a really bad sign.

BABYLON A.D. (3390 theaters). I'm seen ads for this movie, and all I get from it is that it stars Vin Diesel, it looks like it's set in the future, and stuff blows up. Which is probably enough for his audience. Prediction: $12.1 million for the weekend.

DISASTER MOVIE (2642 theaters). Remember when satirical movies were actually satirical, and not just trotting in characters from movies released in the past year? And how is Juno a disaster movie? $13.2 million.

COLLEGE (2123 theaters). At least it's rated R, though it's hard to believe many people will care. $5.7 million.

TRAITOR (2054 theaters). I love Don Cheadle, but this just feels like a movie a lot of people will wait for the DVD on. $8.9 million.

HAMLET 2 (1597 theaters, up from 103). It's trying hard to position itself as the hip movie to see, but it hasn't quite found its way there yet. Though apparently it's funny as hell. $7.1 million.

******

Yeah, last weekend THE HOUSE BUNNY made over 14 million to finish in second. I'm baffled, because the premise is so dumb. Are there that many Anna Faris fans out there?

DEATH RACE underperformed hugely, while THE ROCKER was a huge bomb, making about $2.6 million despite being in more theaters than House Bunny.

13 Comments:

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Brett said...

"DEATH RACE underperfomed..."

Underperformed? I'm not trying to sound like a smart ass (and yet...) but what sort of even mediocre expectations could any sentient life form have for this wad of dreck after having seen the trailer?

I swear, the first time an ad for this came on my TV screen, I actually was expecting an Energizer rabbit to interrupt the insanity as he drummed his merry way across the middle of the action-- I actually truly honestly thought this was a parody of an action movie.

Someone needs to get Vin Diesel AND Jason Statham into one super clich├ęd action waste-o-time while both still have careers. Maybe they could wheel in Gary Busey on a handtruck, a la Hannibal Lechter.

I'd buy a ticket just to choke with disbelieving laughter.
.
.
.
B

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Scott the Reader said...

Well, they spent $45 million to make it, and a big chunk of change to air all those commercials you hated, so clearly the expectations were there for it to do a lot more than $12 million opening weekend.

Though it's sort of encouraging this summer that a lot of the movies tend to be succeeding or failing based on how good they actually are. Which is a nice change.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Christina said...

Regarding House Bunny - Anna Faris is hot and she's a great comedic actor. (I loved her in that movie with Ryan Reynolds - Just Friends.) I think she's finally get her rightful following. Yes, the movie looks dumb in the previews, but never underestimate the power of the secret fantasy of many men - that the girl with glasses he respects so much is secretly a sex object under her frumpy clothes. Nothing is more attractive than a girl who is hot AND smart. A playboy bunny turning female nerds into sex objects? I bet the audience was mainly male, 20-28... or couples on first dates.

 
At 6:11 PM, Blogger E.C. Henry said...

I'm with Christina, "The House Bunny" looks like the best thing out there I haven't seen yet. (I saw "Tropic Thunder" and "Pineapple Express" last week) "Tropic Thunder" was great. "Pineapple Express" not so much.

Was VERY interested in "Hamlet 2" UNTILL I saw promotional billboards which had Catherine Keener as "sexy Jesus's" wife. Such blasphamy, and blatant disregaurd for the holy is a real turn-off for me. To bad, the movie did look funny.

Scott, with your one disappearance,and subsequent upheaval in the blogosphere, have you considered that your posts may be the key to acheiving world peace?

Having said my peace, peace out.

- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger Joshua James said...

Blasphamy actually makes me more interested in a movie - I can't wait for Maher's Religiosity.

 
At 1:47 AM, Blogger Matt said...

E.C.

Must be that good weed up in Bonney Lake that's got you all messed up. I kid. But Pineapple Express is awesome if you are a current pothead, or a former pothead. I'm trying to figure out exactly which one I am.

Isn't House Bunny the one that looks like an exact rip off of Legally Blonde that's from the same people that made Legally Blonde?

Hollywood is nothing if not unoriginal.

 
At 1:49 AM, Blogger Matt said...

I'm also with J.J. on this one. Any movie that really rips into religion is near the top of my netflix queue.

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Joshua James said...

What's interesting is the new Sam Jackson movie that's a very nearly exact ripoff of the Ray Liotta movie ILLEGAL ENTRY, except, of course, that Sam be black -

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

UNLAWFUL Entry. And somebody should tell Emily it's Labor Day weekend. Wouldn't want her getting confused.

 
At 2:05 AM, Blogger Matt said...

That Sam Jackson trailer just pisses me off. It's about as original as a dump in the toilet. WHy not stop the charade and just call it Unlawful Entry 2: Black is the New Blue. Or some other stupid shit.

How many more paychecks does Sam Jackson need before he can retire? Can we help him along toward that final payday somehow?

Anonymous,

Gotta admit, that's kinda funny even though I have made peace with Emily. She's a cool girl, even if she did ruin my B-day by calling me on my negativity.

 
At 7:52 PM, Blogger Emily Blake said...

Whoa. I'm impressed, Matt.

Sorry I didn't weigh in on this fine selection of crap we were offered over the weekend; I was too busy relaxing in the mountains.

As a result, I watched no films. I kind of want to see Traitor, but I'll wait until it appears in my Netflix queue.

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger Deaf Brown Trash Punk said...

I heard Matthew Kassovitch (the director) slamming Babylon A.D and urging fans not to go see it.

yeah i guess it looks shitty.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger MattDW said...

Ha-Ha and Happy Days. $6.9 million over three days for DISASTER MOVIE. Be glad you were off about this one, Scott.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home