ALLIGATORS IN A HELICOPTER

a pro script reader ponders movies, reading, writing and the occasional personal flashback

Saturday, October 29, 2005

There's Some Weird, Weird Stuff on Late Night Cable

So I'm flopped on the couch last night, suffering from insomnia, flipping around the channels. The cool thing about cable nowadays is that it actually tells you what is on the station you have reached; no longer do you have to squint at the screen and try to figure out which obscure Michael Caine movie is on.

So I'm flicking around, and I come to a 2003 movie called "Super Sucker". The synopsis (yeah, they provide one of them too) says that it's about a rivalry between two groups of vacuum cleaner salesmen, one of whom finds success when they find a vacuum cleaner attachment that proves very popular.

Automatically, this sounds really dirty.

But the movie (which I've never heard of, and which I'm 100% sure never got a theatrical release) stars Jeff Daniels, so how dirty can it be?

It has been on for about 25 minutes, so even though I hate entering movies in the middle, I linger, figuring that it should be about plot point one, and I'll get to see what this attachment is.

So Jeff Daniels and his crew are struggling to sell vacuums door-to-door, and Jeff knocks off early one day, and goes home, only to hear his wife moaning from the bedroom.

So he bursts in on her. And finds herself pleasuring herself with the vacuum cleaner.

Yikes.

Turns out that the vacuum cleaner has an attachment meant for drapes that (I kid you not) has a little spinning brush that pops in and out of the middle, and an easy button that switches the vacuum from blowing to sucking to blowing to sucking, something that the characters are so happy about that they keep talking about it.

Of course, this isn't really a porn movie, because there's no nudity (despite the R rating), even though the plot has them selling this attachment to every woman in town, and apparently it works for men too. The story gets silly late, with chases, and government agencies that shut them down, though there really isn't any exploration of whether it is actually right or wrong to have sex with your vacuum cleaner, or what the law would even say about it.

(But kids, I'm not sure you should try this as home).

So I watched the last hour of the movie, somewhat dumbfounded, wondering how the movie could even be made. It doesn't seem like the kind of movie that has a particularly good shot at being released in theaters, but it isn't really raunchy enough to seem like a solid genre entry either. It's just sort of a sniggering tale about women masturbating offscreen with vacuum cleaners.

I mean, how much do you have to pay Jeff Daniels to be in something like this? Can I pay him half that much to be in my movie?

Finally the closing credits roll up, and a lot becomes clear.

Written by Jeff Daniels. Directed by Jeff Daniels.

2 Comments:

At 3:19 PM, Blogger m said...

I thinnk it speaks well of Jeff Daniels that he can slide into doing something like Super Suckers and come right back out again to be in teh same dcent quality of movies that he had been in before.

He could easily have turned into a..i dunno...a Corbin Bernsen or something after having done that...stuck on direct to DVD flicks.

I look forward to seeing him in Squid and the Whale.

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger shecanfilmit said...

I had the unfortunate opportunity of sitting through this turkey at the 2002 CineVegas Film Festival. It most certainly did not get distribution. I followed it for awhile after the fest just to try to understand how something like it could be made -- it was actually made in Michigan by Jeff Daniels' production company. I'm glad he went back to just acting, as I hear he is great in the Squid and the Whale. (Probably the next film I'll see.)

Jeff Daniels is one of my all time favorite actors because Something Wild. Did you see that film? With Melanie Griffith (before she had surgery) and Ray Liotta. OHMYGOD! It was one of the films that made me want to make them.

 

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