Kicked in the Crouch

Because I mostly read for good-sized production companies or small studios, the scripts I read are usually/supposedly of better quality; most come from agents or producers, so in theory all the bad scripts have already been culled out. I sympathize with readers at agencies or contests, who really have to wade through the slushpile.

Still, I'm amazed by how much bad writing I see. I wish I could give you a litany of the past abuses I've seen, because you wouldn't believe it if you saw some of the stuff. Unfortunately for you (though fortunately for me) I've purged most of it from my brain.

Except for one. I was reading this comedy script, and a character gets kicked in the crotch. Except the writer writes that he was "kicked in the crouch". I was amused by this, but figured it was a typo.

But then another character gets kicked in the crouch. And he falls down, holding his crouch. And as the script goes on, there are endless references to people getting hit in the groin or grabbing their nuts, and each time, the writer refers to it as their "crouch".

I don't think he was trying to be polite. I just think that, incredibly ironically/amusingly/jaw-droppingly, the script that I have read that had the most crotch references in it was written by a man who didn't know how to spell the word crotch.

So, in his honor, the Crouchy Awards, for egregious/sloppy/eye-rolling scriptwriting. I'll post them as I encounter them.

And feel free to submit any you come across.